Thursday, 28 November 2019

Why reading the comments section is a really terrible idea


Online discussion increasingly feels like it has only one purpose, as a terrifying dynamo for generating emotion. This isn’t a profound observation, indeed it’s something we can feel intuitively. After-all, the algorithms know us better than we do. Emotion generates engagement, it stirs you into action, leaves you itching and burning to furiously clack away at your keyboard to get your point across to all those strangers on the internet who are just deeply, fundamentally wrong about whatever topic of the day is doing the rounds.


For a long time I’ve had this weird obsession with comment threads. I’m not normally one to wade into the deep-end myself. I had some early burns as a teenager, jumping into a forum for one of my favourite bands and unleashing my uneducated and ill-thought out opinions for the whole community to deftly ridicule. I was a sensitive teenager, and took the rejection and criticism far too personally.


I’m still quite a sensitive adult. So now I rarely post, instead I’m a lurker, a voyeur, a connoisseur of comment threads. Some kind of morbid curiosity moves me to scroll right past the text of an article and dive straight into that putrid comments section. What simplistic war of words will float to the top of the toilet-bowl this time? Sometimes I play a game, trying to guess the tired back-and-forth that will predictably play out when I click the ‘view replies’ button. 


Or another game, guess the proportion of ‘likes’ to ‘laugh emojis’, indicating the relative affirmation or rejection afforded to any given post. Facebook famously rejected the proposal for a ‘dislike’ button, but that stupid little laugh emoji seems to function so much better. Not only do I disagree with you, but I actively find your position laughable.


I’ve gotten quite good at playing my games, I guess things correctly most of the time. Yet they aren’t very enjoyable to play, and I still don’t really understand why I play them. Of course, politics is the perfect fuel for this reactor, and it draws out all the emotion like some greedy, bulbous leech. All-of-a-sudden, I find that every other post on Facebook appears to be some sponsored political piece, each one overflowing with its own raging battleground of simplistic opinions and insulting rebuttals for me to fawn over. All of this leaves me with a really bad taste in my mouth, and a harrowing disdain for the human race as a whole.


Ageing has been kind to me thus far, and its main symptom has been an increasing self-knowledge. Of course I know that all of this lurking really isn’t great for my mental health, and I can easily chart the pattern of mood that it burrows into me. So while I quietly fight my own laughable battle for self-control, let this beleaguered voyeur depart some home-grown wisdom... 


Take a break from the news when you need to. Uninstall the apps. Deactivate Facebook. Get up and have a respectful conversation with someone you disagree with. Watch youtube videos about the stuff that inspires you. Find something else to do while you’re sitting on the toilet. Raise your head above the cesspit. Trust me, you’ll feel much better for it.


And with all that said I’m going to take my own advice and watch some random physicist talk about the likely proportion of earth like planets in the Milky Way galaxy.


Image result for facebook laugh emoji



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